Should You Have Sex on the First Night?

Image by Marin via

Image by Marin via

Actor Michael B. Jordan said in a recent interview that he will lose respect for a woman if he has sex with her on the first night. Michael said what I’ve been preaching for as long as I can remember. A lot of men debate with me on the accuracy of these statements but in most cases it’s true: don’t expect him to wife you if you had sex with him on the first night that you met him. Now, before you go throwing stones at me just hear me out. I have never witnessed a situation where a dude became serious with a woman he’d slept with on the first night that he met her. I’m not saying it’s impossible; just unlikely. My reasoning is simple. Remember how good it felt to spend your very first paycheck? You worked so hard and you finally made money all on your own…it’s a great feeling. Well, I compare the feeling of getting your first paycheck to the feeling of finally having sex with someone you’re really into. It’s going to be a more enjoyable experience because you worked so hard to get it. Let me throw in another metaphor to illustrate my point. What happens to many lottery winners once they win their millions of dollars? They go broke. Why do they go broke, you ask? Well the answer is simple. You don’t quite value and appreciate money that you haven’t worked hard to earn. Easy come, easy go. If you’ve worked hard to earn millions, you will be less likely to squander it.

Many men have countered my argument by saying they don’t care whether a girl sleeps with them on the first night or after the first month; if they’re into her, they’re into her. Understandable…but that’s not how women work. Most of us aren’t able to remove our feelings from a sexual situation. When you have sex with someone you are giving them a part of you…most of us ladies don’t take this lightly. It’s easier for men to have casual sex and not catch feelings and herein lies the problem. It starts off as something “fun” and before you know it, you’ve caught that crazy bug called feelings [don’t you hate when that happens?]

It’s way easier to turn a relationship into sex than it is to turn sex into a relationship. Now, if you go into a situation with the intention to simply satisfy your needs and you keep the situation as is, that’s your prerogative. But what usually ends up happening is that a woman has sex with a man, catches feelings, and tries to turn what they have into a relationship. Why not make a man work hard to earn those cookies that Ciara sung about? Once a man sees that your vajayjay is on a pedestal, he has no choice but to follow suit. Men love a challenge; make yourself the prize that he has to work hard for to win. If your intention is simply to “get yours” then I’m not speaking to you. I’m speaking to the women out there with hopes of finding Mr.Right…while sexing Mr.Wrong.

When it comes to sex on the first night, JUST SAY NO!



Image by Marin via


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