My Quarter-life Crisis Rant

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I turn 27 in two and a half weeks. I’m kind of scared. I don’t know if my life is where it should be. In one sense, I’m in school [still]….I’m pursuing a Ph.D in what I’m passionate in. I never thought I’d make it this far. I’ve always enjoyed school but I would hardly call myself the “smartest person in the class.” But I can certainly say I was the most motivated. I’m proud of myself for getting this far. I refused to let people’s doubts deter me. In less than two years I will be a Dr..

I’m nervous though. Nervous at the thought that when I finish I won’t have a job. I know you must be thinking “why would a Dr. or rather, a Ph.D, come out of school without a job?” I know I could find A JOB…but I refuse to work a 9-5 where my skills and abilities aren’t being properly utilized. I don’t want a 9-5. I’ve never really been a 9-5 person. I’m too creative for a 9-5. And…I’m not a morning person. Not that I can’t be…I just choose not to be. I enjoy my sleep so much…and I enjoy staying up late and working…writing…blogging at 4 am.

I guess I’m at the point in my life where I’m just a little…lost. I know I’m on the right path but I’m just wondering where my life will be when I finish this school journey. I love psychology. I’ve always loved psychology. I just don’t have a clear focus on WHAT I want to do with my degree…the possibilities are endless. But you know what happens when people have TOO many options. CHOICE OVERLOAD.
I have several ideas of what I want to do…the problem is finding a company that will hire me to do what I want to do. I fear I will have to work for a company where I will be doing what THEY want me to do.

I just want to be happy. And well-paid. This college student struggle is all too real right now. I guess while everyone was out finding husbands and wives and having children and getting real adult jobs, I was studying. I hope the path to greatness, in my case, is the path less travelled. I know eventually I will get there…start a family and live that American Dream… I don’t know what it is I really want: I just know I want to be content.

Most of my classmates who are getting their Ph.Ds have full-time jobs and they live adult lives. I pay my own bills and my own rent but I just don’t feel like a full adult yet. I don’t know what specific career path I want to take…I want to write. If I could write for a living and get paid well to do so, that’s what I would be doing. If there was a way to somehow infuse my writing into the area of psychology I’m studying, I would be in heaven.

I’m just worried. Am I where I should be? Am I where I need to be? I don’t want marriage and kids and the white picket fence just yet. I just want……financial security…and a beautiful walk-in closet. And to forget that I owe the government a hefty sum of money. I just wish I could find the medium between work and happiness. I want to work but not a 9-5…I’m fearful of the monotony that a 9-5 brings.

I’m a little too old to be having a quarter-life crisis. Sometimes I feel crippled by my fears. But I can’t fail. I can’t lose. I just want assurance that things will get better…one day.

2 Comments

  • J-Nice On The Mic:
    I truly enjoy your videos and unique insights…Just take it one day at a time Queen…Most of life is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you!!! You are the director and script writer of your own movie which is your life…What is the genre and theme of your movie??? Is it a Horror film???? Suspense thriller? A comedy??? A drama??? A mixture of all of the above and then some???

    Live your life and forget regrets…One Heart…Keep producing and pushing you will get there!!!

    Bro. Ron aka r2c2h2 tha artivist
    Bro. Ron aka r2c2h2 tha artivist recently posted…‘Diary Of A Motor City Hit Man': Author Bro. Chris Cipollini Interview 10/20/2013My Profile

    • Janice says:

      you are absolutely right. I stir this ship so if I don’t like the direction it’s going in, I need to redirect it! I appreciate your comment :)

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