Men Don’t Know What They Have Until It’s Gone

Image by David Castillo Dominici via

Image by David Castillo Dominici via

My nightly routine consists of watching Wendy Williams at midnight when it replays on BET. I love the Hot Topics portion and tonight was no exception. One of the topics was Robin Thicke and his desperate attempts to get his estranged wife, Paula Patton, back. The whole ordeal got me thinking about relationships and second chances. Why is it that airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls? When we having something amazing in our possession why do we take it for granted? I can never comprehend it. Perhaps you have experienced this first hand have been in a relationship with someone who didn’t appreciate you. It’s a crushing feeling to be putting your all into someone and not getting that 100% back. I’ve been there. Poured my heart and soul into a person who wasn’t even meeting me half way. Even after the relationship dissolves some of us still cling to the ashes. It’s pathetic…you know why? Because if you were truly an amazing mate, than the person that took you for granted will eventually realize what they lost (they always do). No feeling is greater than that of an ex finally waking up and smelling the roses. The sad and unfortunate part is that often it happens too late. In the infamous words of R.Kelly, “when a woman’s fed up, it ain’t nothing you can do about it.”

I’m truly convinced now that no matter how good of a woman you are to a man, it doesn’t matter if he’s not ready to be with you. You could cook every meal for him, pleasure him around the clock, cater to him, love him, and give him everything he asks for; but if he’s not ready to commit AND if he knows that he has you wrapped around his finger, he will dangle you like a marionette doll. But as a woman you can’t change what your heart feels. All you can do is give yourself to someone and love them without limits and if you get that back in return, that’s a blessing…if not, move on to someone who can love you the way you want to be loved. Trust and believe there is someone out there that can match or even surpass the love and affection and amazingness you put in a relationship.

Men…one word of advice: smell the roses while they’re still fresh and enjoy the coffee while it’s still warm. Why let someone trickle down your fingers because you falsely believed that they would always be there for you? Everybody has their limits and NO person will stay and endure unappreciation forever. There will come a time when she will put her foot down and say she deserves better. You will be shocked because most men think that day will never come. You don’t want to have the realization that you lost the best thing to ever come into your life…don’t neglect the blessing that has been bestowed upon you.

I’m not a huge believer of second chances. I think if someone had a chance with you and messed it up, why give them another opportunity to waste your time? I understand though, that there are other variables that make up this equation. Some men aren’t fully ready to be in a relationship so they sh*t on the loyal woman that they have and sleep with every female that tickles their fancy. Then, once they are ready for something serious they yearn for that loyal woman they once had but it’s too late…she’s gone. If you had cherished her from the jump you wouldn’t be in that predicament. If you found an amazing diamond in a desert, why would you put that diamond somewhere that it could be lost or misplaced? You should have held it close so that you wouldn’t have lost it. Now you may never find it again.

Moral of the story: Men don’t wait til the water runs dry; it could be the biggest mistake of your life (like Boyz 2 Men said).

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