With the New Year only a day away, I thought it was imperative to resurrect this blog that I haven’t updated in months. With the new year swiftly approaching, I’ve made several New Years resolutions I will accomplish. A lot of people have qualms with the idea of making resolutions for a new year. Their logic is “what’s stopping you from changing whatever it is you don’t like about yourself or your life now?” While that is a good point, there is something encouraging and more motivating when you feel like it’s the start of a new time (beginning of the week, beginning of the month, beginning of the year, etc.). We tend to feel like maybe this time the habit will actually stick. Also, starting at a pivotal time such as the beginning of the month or the year is a great tool to help you keep track of your progress; starting on the 1st is an easy date to remember. I always set forth goals, even prior to the New Year, that I hope to accomplish. Goal-setting is a proven and effective way to actually accomplish your dreams.
This year I really want to refine my ability to cut unnecessary things from my life. A large chunk of the unnecessary-ness includes the people that I entertain. I am a VERY nice and friendly person. Anyone that knows me can tell you this…in the past I have not been the best judge of character. I am usually nice to people that don’t deserve my kindness and I forgive far too easily. It’s the Aries in me. I don’t dwell on little things and I never sweat the small stuff. I can be mad in one minute and completely be over it in the next minute. In addition, I allow people to have second and third chances when they honestly don’t deserve it and I have a tendency to entertain men who aren’t worthy of my time or on my level. I have always been the type of person that sees the good and sees the beauty in others but for 2015 I need to cut that out. Not really trying to do a 180 but I need to let go of the people in my life that have proven to be toxic. I think I have a tendency to allow people to disrespect my time. I am great at cutting people off when they do things that are absolutely deplorable and unforgivable; but herein lies the problem. The toxic people in my life don’t do ONE giant act that shows me that they don’t value me but it is a series of small acts when compiled that show me their true intent. I am committed to cutting off the negativity from my life. Anything that doesn’t better my life needs to be exterminated. I don’t need to keep having the EXACT SAME arguments with the same people about the same thing. It’s hard to cut people off sometimes, especially people you’ve known for ages. People often won’t understand your motives behind cutting them off and they will argue and fight against your decision but you have to think about what’s best for you. You can’t live your life according to other people’s desires and expectations. I know I deserve the best people surrounding me so I am committed to getting rid of those who do not have my best interests at heart.
2014 was a trying year. I broke up with someone I loved (after he unfortunately met my African parents, much to my chagrin). But 2014 was also an amazing year for me. As hurt as I was following my break up, I had time to sit and reflect and realize that this wasn’t the person I was meant to spend my life with. And that’s okay. When two imperfect people come together, it doesn’t always lead to or end in perfection.
2014 taught me the value and importance of traveling. Seeing how big and beautiful and vast our world is makes me realize how insignificant my problems are. It almost makes me feel foolish for being sad about a breakup. Life has so much in store for all of us that we should never dwell on anything. The rain never lasts forever.
This year showed me the beauty of being alone. I’ve never been one of those people who needs a ‘boo’ or a significant other with me or around me. In fact, I revel in my alone time. But this year, following my breakup I realized how much about myself I was still learning. One of the most valuable lessons I learned is that it’s okay to be alone. Society makes us (especially women) feel like something is inherently wrong with us if we’re single but I think there’s a lot wrong with an individual who is not able to be alone and content with themselves. How do you expect anyone else to value and cherish you if you have not learned how to value and cherish yourself?
If you want someone in your life you should do everything in your power to show that person that they mean the world to you. If you’re debating cutting someone off and they haven’t shown you (consistently) that they deserve a place in your life CUT THEM OFF…plain and simple. One thing I’m learning to value more and more is consistency. I don’t have time for people who have no idea what they want out of life. I know exactly what I want in all aspects of my life…I have no time for indecisiveness. And we all have a few loose ends, or people in our lives we know we need to let go of but we’ve been dragging our feet on for whatever reason. The start of a brand new year is the perfect time to cut the fat out of your life (literally and figuratively). No big announcement or going away party needs to happen…you can slowly just distance yourself from toxic individuals and eventually they’ll get the picture.
I vow to let go of these loose ends. Rather than tying them up I need to completely cut them off. Life is too short to be entertaining anyone or anything that doesn’t bring more value to you. So when the ball drops at midnight, make a vow to yourself to get rid of all the extra chicken fat that you’ve been reluctant to cut off…. Let 2015 be a fresh start! Cut them off when the ball drops!